Meditating with monks: arrival day

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By Gabrielle Jackson
 
When my friend Cassi and I first thought about learning Vipassana meditation, I immediately jumped in with a hugely enthusiastic ‘yes!’ despite the facts we knew including no food after midday and 10 days of no talking.

I’m incredibly lazy so the thought of sitting around doing nothing for 10 days didn’t seem like a tall order to me. In fact, it seemed like a pretty good idea. And then, add to the mix, thinking about myself all day, every day. Hello? Heaven! What could be more interesting or entertaining, I wondered? What’s all this about ascetics? This is hedonism in its purest form, I thought.

And then I got here.

Before we started, we had to agree to follow eight precepts:

1. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from killing any beings.

2. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from taking what is not given.

3. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from sexual intercourse.

4. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from false speech.

5. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from drinks and drugs which fuddle the mind and reduce mindfulness.

6. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from taking food at improper times (after midday).

7. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from dancing, singing, music, shows, from wearing garlands, perfumes, cosmetics, adornments and ornaments.

(Oh shivers, I just killed a bug. I think it was a mosquito, or a flying ant. It landed on my computer and I squashed it. Have I failed? I thought number one would be easy to keep.)

8. I undertake the rule of training to refrain from using high and luxurious seats.

Do we have to consciously stick to these things on purpose, I wonder, or do we still get credit if it just so happens that we fulfill our duty by default? Because I’m pretty sure I can stick to 1 (apart from my little indiscretion just now) 2, and 4 and, since my iPod is broken 7 as well, and I seem to be doing pretty well at number 3, though not necessarily by choice. And since we’re on a retreat in the middle of nowhere, I can’t get food or alcohol if they don’t give it to me, so 5 and 6 should be OK. The bed in my room is literally a wooden slat, and since I’m not travelling with a Sealy Posteurpedic in my backpack, number 8 appears to be in the bag as well.

So, after very little consideration, we agreed to these precepts and were accepted into a Buddhist retreat somewhere in Thailand to learn Vipassana meditation from a Burmese monk.

Our first task was to go to our cabins and check our clothes for appropriateness. It was discovered that I had two bottoms and no tops that were appropriate for wearing here. This could be difficult given the hot, humid conditions. The lady in charge brought us back some pale lavender cotton numbers that look like hospital-issue pyjamas. But at least they look cool.

After I’d showered and changed into my mental asylum gear, we had to go to the hall for a ‘Dhamma talk’. It went for almost one-and-a-half hours. The gist of what I understood was that yogis are coming and go, coming and go, coming and go. Towards the end I picked up that they have feelings – they feel upset, angry, agitated and itchy.

Next, we had an interview with Sayadaw, the teacher (that’s a literal translation of his name). He advised us to be mindful of everything we do – to notice everything – our breathing, walking, the smells, what we touch, how we react. I noticed the hall had lovely parquet flooring and several clocks that didn’t work.

Apparently, when meditating (which is 10 hours a day here) you’re not supposed to think about anything. AT ALL. Not yourself, not the imaginary relationship you’re having with a man who knows nothing about it, not your book, not your holiday, not your home, not where you’d like to live, not – if you had to choose – whether you’d choose to write a great book or meet a great man. Nothing. Nada. Not even about the fly crawling up your leg.

This might not be as easy as I thought. 

Read the rest of the Meditating with monks diary:
Day one
Day two 
Day three
Day four
Day five
Day six
Day seven
Day eight
Day nine
Day 10